Taken for granted- three and a half years is the point where the romance fades
Couples start taking each other for granted three years and six months into their marriage, it has been revealed. A poll of 2,000 married adults showed this is the point where couples lose the dating buzz, prefer sleep over sex and stop saying ‘I love you’.
The research indicated that after three and a half years of wedded bliss, cuddling up on the sofa in the evening is a thing of the past, with couples more likely to go to bed at different times.
And by this time in a relationship, rather than settling down to enjoy an evening together, the likelihood is that couples will eat at different times, sit in different rooms and zone out of a conversation in favour of watching television.
Kate Jones of Co-operative Food, which commissioned the study, said:
”This research shows once they’ve tied the knot, it’s all too easy for couples to start getting complacent and start taking each other for granted.
”Once the honeymoon period is over, couples often let bad habits take over and forget to go the extra mile to make each other happy.
”We all know that it’s the little things that make a big difference, so adding a bit of quality time, like re-introducing ‘date nights’ or enjoying a meal in together, could be a good way to show you care.”
The study also found appearance takes a turn for the worse, with many dressing down in tracksuit bottoms or pyjamas before their partner gets home.
Not bothering with make-up and ditching matching underwear in favour of granny pants also becomes commonplace.
Additionally, this is the stage when familiarity with each other leads to forgetting the major events, such as wedding anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, Christmas and even birthdays.
Couples also revert to being more interested in spending time with friends than each other.
But despite entering the comfort zone, two thirds of those polled said they still consider their marriage to be ‘strong’.
In fact, only 43% believed taking each other for granted was a bad thing, and 75% said it was ‘normal’ for anyone who has been married for a decent length of time.
Nine out of ten people claimed the only reason they behave as they do is because they are so comfortable with each other.
Kate Jones added:
”Bad habits begin to creep into the relationship, such as breaking wind in front of each other, showering less, women forgetting to shave their legs, not closing the bathroom door when using the toilet and leaving the toilet seat up.
”Far from those bad habits being a sign that the relationship’s on the rocks, it looks as though taking each other for granted can be a sign of security and comfort, and you don’t need the reassurance of saying ‘I love you’ all the time.”
Although 82% of couples claim to be happy with their marriage, 49% do wish their partner was ‘more romantic’.
However, half of couples admit they don’t tell each other they love them enough, and one in four would like to make more effort by introducing more ‘date nights’.
TOP 50 SIGNS OF BEING TAKEN FOR GRANTED
1. Opting to sleep rather than having sex
2. Lack of ‘date nights’
3. You forget to say “I love you” everyday
4. You stop kissing each other goodbye
5. Got to bed at different times
6. Don’t cuddle up on the sofa in the evening anymore
7. Dressing down in tracksuit bottoms before the other half gets home
8. No longer bothering with Valentine’s Day
9. Assuming you’ll do all the chores
10. Breaking wind when partner is around
11. The little phone calls at work stop
12. Ditching matching underwear
13. You don’t religiously apply make-up before seeing each other
14. Forgetting to say thank you for dinner
15. You stop shaving your legs so often
16. You stop buying spontaneous gifts for no reason
17. Lacking on chores or doing half jobs
18. Leaving the toilet seat up
19. Not excited at the chance to spend one on one time with you
20. Prioritises their TV choices over yours
21. Wearing granny pants
22. Not closing the bathroom door when going to the toilet
23. You stop sending little flirty / mushy text messages
24. Watch TV in separate rooms
25. Stop celebrating anniversaries
26. Not letting the other know about plans which have been made
27. Spending the evening sitting in different rooms
28. Assumes / expects dinner, packed lunch etc
29. No little notes or silly texts
30. Watches TV or uses the mobile halfway through a conversation with you
31. Obsessing or dedicating too much time to a hobby / sport
32. Saying things like “I love you” as habit rather than meaning it
33. You only say “I Love you” in reply when your partner says it
34. Forgetting to say thank you
35. Don’t exchange information about what has happened that day
36. Thinking it’s okay to point out imperfections with body or appearance
37. Not noticing new haircuts or clothes
38. You agree not to exchange birthday or Christmas presents anymore
39. Less ‘in jokes’ between you
40. Getting vouchers or cash for birthdays instead of choosing a present
41. Making appointments with friends without checking with the other half
42. Less likely to share gossip about the day
43. Not bothered if you cancel or have to rearrange a date or meal out
44. Forgetting important dates
45. Forgetting or less interested in your career / issues in life
46. Eat at different times in the evening
47. Showering less
48. Overly excited at spending time with mates
49. Gets you to check out weird or worrying body issues
50. Gets irritated if you can’t pick them up or act as a taxi