American Dad

Average Dad – two kids, three hours of TV a day and two awkward dad jokes a week

15th August, 2013 in Family

The average dad has two kids, drives a Ford, watches three hours of TV a day – and tells around two awkward ‘dad jokes’ a week, a survey has revealed. Researchers also found the typical dad works from 8am-5.05pm, gets home at 5.53pm and is usually sat in front the TV by 7.47pm.

It also found that dads will drink three pints a week, and hear the phrase ‘You’re so embarrassing’ from their offspring around once a week.

Almost half of dads enjoy leaving their children red-faced while out in public or with their friends.

A spokesman for the release of American Dad Volume 8 on DVD, which commissioned the study, said:

”From the results in the survey, British dads are not far removed from the stereotypical image they have – spending their evenings in front of the telly and knocking back a few beers after work.

”Everyone thinks they are alone in having an embarrassing and awkward dad, but it seems that actually, the opposite is true.

”Stan in American Dad is known for his awkward moments with his children and this is a trait many British dads seem to have in common, leaving their children squirming with bad jokes, inappropriate or badly-timed comments and embarrassing actions.

”It may mean some awkward moments, either in public or front of friends, but they are still our Dad, no matter that they do.”

The study, of 1,200 dads, found that they were almost 28 when their first child was born and are most likely to drive a Ford or Vauxhall.

They also earn an average salary of £28,944, working nine-hour days and heading for bed at around 10.51pm each night.

Dads will spend two hours and 55 minutes watching TV each day, with the news the most popular programme choice – accounting for almost three hours of viewing each week.

A further two hours and 22 minutes each week is spent watching live sports with one hour and 40 minutes spent catching up on sport highlights in shows like Match of the Day.

Other popular ‘Dad programmes’ include shows like Top Gear as well as comedies like Family Guy.

Half of dads even admitted to being a regular viewer of a soap such as EastEnders and Coronation Street.

It also emerged the average dad will spend just five days of the summer holidays with their children, but will drive 46 miles a week acting as ‘dad’s taxi’ for their offspring.

And they will face two rows with their children every week.

As with Stan and his classic American ‘Dadisms’, researchers also found that embarrassing dads will come out with 10 awkward or badly-timed comments each month – around twice a week.

And their children will even avoid going out in public with them an average of four times a month because they are left so red-faced by Dad’s antics.

Awkward comments were found to be a dad’s most popular way of embarrassing their children, followed by ‘when I was your age’ stories and telling tales from their child’s early years.

Kissing and cuddling their youngsters in public, as well as the dreaded moment they lick a finger or napkin to wipe dirt off your face were also among list.

‘Dad-dancing’, telling children off in front of their friends and grilling their son or daughter’s potential love interest also made the top ten embarrassing things dads do.

THE AVERAGE DAD

Has two children
Was aged 28 when their first child was born
Drives a Ford or Vauxhall
Earns £28,944 per year
Starts work at 7.58am
Finishes work at 17.05pm
Gets home from work at 17.53pm
Is sat in front of the TV 19.47pm
Watches TV for two hours and 55 minutes each day
Most likely to watch the news and live sports:
Spends four hours watching sports or highlights and three hours of news each week
Goes to bed at 22.51pm
Drink three pints of beer or lager each week
Drives 46 miles each week ferrying children around
Has five days off with their children during the summer holidays
Has two rows with their children each week
Will come out with ten ‘dad’ jokes or awkward/embarrassing comments each week
Will be told they are embarrassing five times a month by their children
Children will avoid going out in public with them four times a month because they are so embarrassing

TOP TEN EMBARRASSING / AWKWARD THINGS DADS WILL DO

1. Make a joke or awkward comment at an inappropriate time
2. Told ‘when I was your age’ stories
3. Told stories about them as a child
4. Kiss/cuddled my children in public
5. Spit-wash – licked fingers to wipe dirt of their child’s face
6. Tell their children not to show off while they were with their friends
7. Hold their children’s hands in public
8. Shout or tell off children in public/in front of friends
9. ‘Dad-danced’ in public/in front of their friends
10. Grilled a child’s potential boyfriend/girlfriend

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