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Michael Jackson’s Legacy

Michael Jackson’s Legacy
2nd   Jul

I believe Michael Jackson will go to his grave innocent of every charge and accusation leveled at him.

I believe Jordi Chandler and Gavin Arviso and their families should have the death of the King of Pop on their consciences for the rest of their lives. They should hang their heads in shame.

I believe in both cases the accusations were dreamed up by twisted, money-hungry no-marks who saw an opportunity to take Jacko, who was without doubt a sad, reclusive and incredibly strange loner, for every dime he had, and took it with both hands spurred on by greedy lawyers with chips on their shoulders.

Jordi, who played along with the ruse thanks to more than a firm nudge of encouragement from his skint dad, made the initial sex abuse claims while he was under a ‘truth drug’-style anaesthetic administered by his dentist father.

I am convinced father and son – because, remember, Jordi’s mum believed the claims to be completely fabricated and even said as much – took the decision to press ahead with the case with dollar signs fixed firmly in their eyes. During a taped telephone conversation between Jordi’s dad and a pal Jordi’s father explained how the whole thing was getting out of hand.

Obviously in the end Jacko settled out of court, writing a check for $22million dollars for the Chandlers, quite possibly on the advice of his legal team. But why did Jordi and his dad settle for that? I know if someone was abusing one of my two children I would want them to be jailed for as many years as was possible in a bid to keep other children safe from their abuser. I wouldn’t settle for money. Unless money was my only motive. See what I’m getting at?

Then more than a decade later and in the wake of Martin Bashir’s now infamous television interview with Jacko, Gavin Arviso who featured prominently in the show, makes claims similar to the ones made by the Chandlers. Arviso even admitted to police that he lied in interviews about four days before his mum took the stand and began ranting about there being a conspiracy between the German lawyers.

The star was eventually found not guilty. Quite right as far as I’m concerned. But while the whispers, innuendo and bad taste Jacko paedo jokes did the rounds on the worldwide web an already damaged star was left to pick up the pieces of his life all alone. How badly it affected him is anyone’s guess. But I suggest he probably wasn’t taking every prescription drug he could get his hands on before Chandler and his dad made the sex abuse allegations.

In the four years since he was cleared Jacko’s health has been in steady decline. As if it wasn’t enough to have had an abusive father, he was now left to try and find a place to hide while the dust settled. Which isn’t easy when you’re one of the most famous – and altered – faces in the world. But hide he did and within 18 months he was beginning to plan a comeback. The string of gigs would have been probably one of the greatest tours by a modern artist and those who had tickets were no doubt counting the days to the big night.

Whether Jacko would have been fit enough to complete the tour is debatable, but if he had of made it would have been one hell of a show. Now we’ll never know. What we do know is that a man of undeniable talent has gone, leaving only his music as a legacy – and what a legacy. But it all could have been so different.

Written by Doug

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EUROMILLIONS WINNER…

EUROMILLIONS WINNER…
16th   Jun

Considering all we seem to hear about at the moment is the credit crunch, war or Britain's miserable weather, it was nice to open a paper this morning and be greeted with the heart-warming story of Euromillions winner Brian Caswell.

The 73-year-old scooped £25m to become one of Britain's biggest lottery winners with his wife Joan.

And while most winners would rush out to buy a fleet of luxury cars, or book their round-the-world cruise, Brian simply plans to pay someone to help grow some carrots on his allotment.

Apparently, the granddad has been trying to grow the vegetable without success and intends to use his massive win to get a professional in to 'sort it out'.

How much do you love this guy already?

But Mr Caswell becomes even more loveable when you find out he had to ring his daughter so she could help him contact lottery operator Camelot to claim his winnings.

This heart-warming story is a refreshing change from some of the previous winners.

Mickey Carroll became known as the Lotto Lout after winning £9.7 million on the Lottery in 2002 at the age of 19.

But by 2006, he had blown £8.5 million of it living like a Roman emperor and spending a huge £10,000 a week on 24-hour cocaine and sex parties.

He's not the only one who wasted his windfall though as Michael Antonucci, who won £2.8 million in 1995 on one of the first lottery draws, has recently been in the news after appearing in court over a £400 debt.

And Peter Kyle, who won £5.1 million, ended up broke and on benefits after losing his cash on a string of failed investments.

I just hope this story, which made me smile when I read it this morning, has a happy ending and unlike some of the other high profile winners, he enjoys his money for many years to come.

Written by Gemma

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Brilliant Button…

Brilliant Button…
8th   Jun

All hail Jensen Button, another Formula 1 Grand Prix, another victory and another giant step towards becoming the second British driver to be crowned World Champion in two seasons.

There is no doubting the incredible talent of Somerset-born Button.

His performance at the Turkish circuit yesterday was Schumacher-esque in its perfection, and with Ross Brawn in the background his team could dominate the sport for years to come.

Six wins in seven races will strike fear into the pit lane, which has not seen such dominance since the dull, robotic German swept all before him in his Ferrari.

But what about next season - and the prospect of a rule change which will hand the title to the driver who wins most races?

The new law was set to be implemented in time for this season, until the F1 drivers association stepped in and voted against it. I can see why.

If the new rule was in place now Button would be within three wins of collecting the title - with seven races still to go.

Where would that leave us? Would you bother watching seven completely irrelevant races around the globe knowing full well Button's name was already on the trophy.

I know I wouldn't. And where would that leave the drivers who risk their lives in the pursuit of the biggest prize in sport?

Would they still push themselves and their cars to the limit - with nothing whatsoever to play for?

I think not. I fear the whole thing will become a farce. There will be no competition, I mean who wants to watch Timo Glock going all out to get past Nico Rosberg in the battle for ninth place in the drivers championship?

There will be no competition, no drama, no intensity and no point in tuning in. The whole thing will become a pointless procession.

I foresee a situation where pitstops, currently dictated by a team of super intelligent number-crunchers fussing over spreadsheets, would become more like a visit to Kwikfit.

Imagine the scenario, Giancarlo Fisichella, roars into the pits and sits engine purring while a few minutes later a bloke in tatty blue overalls wanders over fag drooping from the corner of his mouth, and asks with a grunt: ''What can I do for you mate?''

After a cursory wander round the car and a few puffs on his Lambert and Butler, the greasemonkey would ask Fisichella to get out, tell him: ''You're gonna need four new tyres mate, those ones are shot to s**t, come inside.''

At which point the grunt would grab Fisichella's keys, point him in the direction of the coffee machine, follow him into the waiting room and proceed to find the most expensive tyres available.

It could happen.

What if a driver who has already secured third place in the championship is being hotly pursued by some no-mark desperate to score his first points of a god-awful season?

With a mirror full of angry rookie is he seriously going to try and hold his position - or will he do what we all do faced with a crazed chav in our rearview, pull over and get the hell out of the way?

Would the drivers even want to compete if there was nothing to compete for? I wouldn't. I'd give my keys and helmet to the bloke whose job it usually is to wipe my visor with a damp cloth and tell him: ''I won't say anything if you don't.''

So pleaser Bernie, don't let it happen. It will ruin the entire spectacle for millions of F1 fans - and the BBC might want a chunk of their £200million back if viewing figures drop.

Written by Doug

THE HAIRY ANGEL…

THE HAIRY ANGEL…
2nd   Jun

The burning question on everyone's lips following Saturday's final of Britain's Got Talent is "Should Susan Boyle have been allowed to go on the show?"

But this question is harder to answer than people think. The fact of the matter is that the woman, mentally challenged or not, has talent. She can sing; whether she can sing more than two songs remains to be seen, but she sings those two brilliantly.

And shouldn't everyone, regardless of age, sex, race, and disability be given the same chance?

However, I sat watching Saturday night's final on the edge of my seat for all the wrong reasons. What should have been pleasurable and exciting viewing was unnerving, uncomfortable and downright cringe worthy.

Rather than thinking "I hope Diversity wins" I was thinking, "Oh my God, what will Susan do next?"

After watching Susan wander the stage aimlessly after Ant and Dec announced she was in the top three, clearly without a clue what was going on, I found myself shouting at the TV screen for someone get her out of there. I felt Susan was totally out of her depth and should have had someone with her to support her and guide her through the whole daunting process.

Then comes the final announcement. Susan is standing stony faced, giving nothing away. By this point I know something bad is going to happen, this is a woman on the edge, one who has already cracked under the enormous pressure over the past week.

But to my surprise, when Diversity are announced as the deserving winners, Susan quite articulately congratulates them and says the "best person won". Phew. No drama, no tantrum. And then she gets her legs out and starts hip wiggling suggestively. At this point I am honestly thinking the woman is going to get her whole kit off on national television whilst Ant and Dec grapple to keep her under wraps.

I sound like I'm taking the mickey out of Susan, and to be honest I laugh nervously as I recall Saturday's events. But the stark truth of the matter is that this wasn't entertainment, it was car crash TV at the expense of an honest, simple and shy lady.

Susan Boyle, regardless of her unquestionable talent, is a mentally unbalanced woman who was left to go on stage completely alone in front of millions of people. For any 'normal' person this would have been nerve-wracking and upsetting. But for brain-damaged Susan it was beyond the realms of anything she could have imagined whist holed up in her Scottish council house with her cat.

So is it any wonder that minutes after the show ended Susan stripped to her bra and ran down a corridor throwing water over the floor manager? Her bizarre and erratic behaviour on stage should have been a clue for the show's producers to get her out of there as soon as possible.

The thing is that Talkback Thames, and whoever else is responsible for making the show, would have received worldwide criticism if they HADN'T allowed Susan to sing on Saturday night. Critics would have blasted the show for not encouraging equal opportunities, not allowing her to sing, cheating the fans etc.

So alright, Talkback knew Susan would pull in the ratings. But at the end of the day the viewers voted to keep her in and the show's producers did the best they could in a difficult situation. They could have done a bit better; Susan should have had someone nearby on stage to assist her and she should have had someone take her away when the show ended.

But whilst I feel incredibly sorry for Susan, and I hope she gets well soon, I think she'll have the last laugh on this one. She'll get better. And in six months time she'll have a record contract sorted, an army of health professionals watching her every move, and a million quid in the bank.

Written by Emma

OLDEST MUM…

OLDEST MUM…
29th   May

Until recently, going through the menopause put a definite end to any thoughts of having children.

But thanks to medical advances, this is no longer a hurdle for those who still want children, raising the question of exactly how old is too old for a woman to have a baby.

And the debate has been thrown into the limelight once again after Elizabeth Adeney became Britain's oldest mum - at the age of 66.

There's no doubting she will give her child the best possible life - after all she has chosen to have this baby, and gone through so much to do so.

But I think you would struggle to find someone who is completely comfortable with it.

While most women in their 60s are thinking of how to make the most of their retirement, Mrs Adeney is going to be up to her eyes in dirty nappies and running around after a boisterous toddler.

And what about her son? When he reaches his 18th birthday, his mum is going to be well into her 80s.

He is going to notice that his mum is a lot older than other parents in the playground, and I'm pretty sure other children will spot it as well.

How much finger pointing and name calling is he going to have to face during his school years from youngsters who realise his mum is closer in age to their gran?

And when he should be enjoying his teenage years, staying out late and making his parents worry sick about his whereabouts, he is going to be caring for a woman in her 80s.

Is she going to be there for major milestones in his life, like his university graduation, his wedding day and the birth of his children?

Mrs Adeney has defended her decision to have IVF saying 'It's not physical age that's important - it's how I feel inside.''

But while she might feel great now, her son is still going to need her in 10 or 20 years time. Is she still going to feel as good then?

Women are having children later in life now, but we are talking late 30s or early 40s, not at the same time they collect their pension.

I can't help but feel women go through the menopause for a reason.

IVF is a great alternative for those who aren't able to have children naturally, but I'm not sure that should include women nature considers to be too old?

Written by Gemma

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Katie & Peter: Another view…

Katie & Peter: Another view…
12th   May

I too am completely devastated by the split, they were the perfect couple - but unlike the comments below I think Katie Price is completely to blame for the breakdown of this marriage.

Yes Jordan is famous for getting her boobs out and falling out of clubs but from that brash and trashy persona, she cleverly crafted Katie Price. And it was Katie Price that both the nation and Peter Andre fell in love with.

She showed us a different side to the gaudy and loud glamour model who had previously had relationships with complete to**ers like Dwight Yorke and Dane Bowers. She showed us her love for her children, her canny business sense and we saw her grow in to a national treasure.

In Peter, she found an honest, moral guy with strong family values. He is no doubt a bit cheesy and corny and at times a complete wally, but essentially he has what makes up the perfect husband. He adores his children, clearly loves his wife and would never stray.

But Jordan’s boozy antics last Friday were the last straw for Pete. Yes, of course she deserves to let her hair down now and then and have a drink or two, but what husband isn’t going to be annoyed when he sees pictures of his wife and a mother of three splashed across every tabloid showing her bra and smooching with strange men?

Judging by the pictures she looks absolutely hammered. She’s cheek to cheek with a random man, her top is around her waist and was allegedly falling all over the place. Come on, Jordan, you know you’ll be papped! You are the most famous glamour model in the world and you court the media spotlight. Did she not think that Peter wouldn’t find out about her night out? Is she surprised a red-blooded male has reacted this way at the pictures?

If any man thinks this behavior is acceptable for a wife and mother then he is a complete sap! He has done the right thing and put his foot down on her drunken conduct and blasé attitude towards their marriage. He constantly puts up with reminders that she is the breadwinner and deals with the fact she has had very public relationships in the past, but he acts with dignity and decorum. But turning a blind eye to millions of builders seeing your loved one’s knockers in the Daily Star when you’re at home looking after the kids is surely too much to ask.

People are speculating that this is a publicity stunt and I truly hope it is. Despite the bickering and his disapproval of her behavior they are a brilliant couple who are happy to share their ups and downs with the nation.

It’s so easy to take the moral high-ground and brand this couple as chavvy and fame hungry, but they are great TV and millions of us see them as ‘one of us’. I hope she begs for forgiveness, vows to never to drink again and runs back to his open arms with her 34GG’s merrily bouncing everywhere.

Then we can avidly watch their reconciliation on ‘’Katie and Peter – The Make-Up’’ which will soon to be coming to ITV 2.

Written by Libby.

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Katie & Peter: The break up…

Katie & Peter: The break up…
12th   May

My best friend texted me last night – “How are you about Katie and Peter… Is it true?” – And my reply “Oh don’t, I can’t talk about it, I’m devastated.”

Because you know what? I really am. I feel totally let down and disappointed because for the past six years I’ve been one of the people who said it would last, who said their love was genuine.

Today’s newspapers are filled with the news that Katie Price and Peter Andre are splitting up after three and a half years of marriage.

And apparently pictures of Katie letting her hair down and getting her tits out in a Bristol club was the final straw for Peter, who was fed up with her constant flirting and drunken behaviour.

But I’m so cross with him! Katie Price, aka Jordan, is famous for getting her tits out! She’s made money from falling out of clubs! This is who she is!

Katie & Peter

Katie & Peter

Did Peter Andre honestly think he could change Jordan into someone who didn’t get her best assets out in public, someone who didn’t appreciate male attention or flirt outrageously at any given opportunity?

In his defence, he has always maintained it was the real Katie Price he fell in love with, not her alter ego Jordan.

But could he really expect his wife to drop the doppelganger who made her the multi-millionaire she is today?

ITV2’s documentary Katie and Peter: The Next Chapter has portrayed their relationship as volatile; they argue and bicker continuously.

But you also see a softer side to the pair – a genuine display of affection and love for each other.

I felt it was particularly telling when Katie was filmed going under the anaesthetic for another boob operation – she was in a vulnerable state and all she could talk about was her love for Peter.

And don’t all couples argue? – I think some of the best relationships are those which are based on the ability to have a blazing row and then make it up again afterwards. I simply don’t buy it when someone says “oh we never argue”, and automatically I think “Oh there must be something wrong with you then.”

Today’s Daily Mirror shows pictures of the couple having an almighty fight in a sport shop in LA, which was aired on ITV2 last Thursday.

I saw this episode and my take on things was this – Katie was being polite to the shop assistant who had no clue who either of them was. Peter was insanely (excuse the pun) jealous that his wife was giving the shop assistant attention and started to nag as her and take the mickey.

He was incredibly rude to the shop assistant and worked and worked at Katie until she lost her patience and told him “you’re a f****** K***…… I’m the one making money Pete.”

He drove her to lose her temper, and then had a proper paddy when eventually she bit back.

But as the episode closed I was left thinking, wicked, what a great piece of television – they’ll kiss and make up next week.

Because that’s how I’ve been led to believe they lead their lives; they bicker, they argue, they make up, they’re head over heels in love again.

Some people are speculating the break up is just a publicity stunt, and I for one hope they are right. I would feel the butt of a cruel joke, but at least my favourite celeb couple would be back together.

Unfortunately I fear the worst, maybe this is it for Katie and Peter and their gorgeous three children will enter the world of shared custody, trips between homes and two Christmases a year.

And selfishly for me, Thursday nights will never be the same again as I struggle to find a replacement for ITV2’s Katie and Peter: The Next Chapter.

Written by Emma

Goodnight Darling…

Goodnight Darling…
23rd   Apr

Ok, now I understand what all the fuss is about...

Now I understand why Britain is on the verge of bankruptcy. Now I understand the full scale of the criminal overspending by the Labour government, and now I understand why my future and that of my children is in such serious jeopardy.

The figures which emerged yesterday in the Budget left me absolutely gobsmacked to say the least.

Up until now I have tried and partially succeeded in getting my head around the American sub-prime mortgage debacle, NINJA mortgages, shady banking practices and the GDP.

But that was the point where small plumes of smoke began emanating from my ears as my brain struggled to deal with the overload of dull financial jargon and figures which were more like telephone numbers - and I don't mean just one telephone number.

Then poor old Alistair Darling stood before us all yesterday and gave us the hard truth - and in the words of Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men, I can't handle the truth.

Britain really is stuffed. That's probably not a strong enough word. What about buggered, knackered, up s**t creek? Even the F-word might struggle to convey the full extent of the mess we are in.

Alistair Darling was at pains yesterday to explain that by the end of this year and the start of next the first buds of recovery will sprout through the stinking pile of financial s**t which has been laid on the doorsteps of each and every household in this country.

But he would say that wouldn't he? After all he is desperate to give those high earners who were last night faced with handing over yet more of their earnings to the treasury a glimmer of hope that all is not lost.

The truth is that Britain is now the economic equivalent of the Titanic seconds after it struck an iceberg. We are shipping water and listing badly, faced with certain death in the sub-zero ocean of jobs losses and depression.

The question on everyone's lips this morning is how exactly did things get this bad? Undoubtedly the seeds of overspending were sown by the tories.

But even their irresponsibility was overshadowed by a government run by Tony Blair and overseen by then Chancellor of The Exchequer Gordon Brown.

I know there were rumours that at times their relationship was less than harmonious but surely there must have been a point when Mr. Brown, who remember was lauded as 'the greatest chancellor of our time' by Blair realised the outlook was bleak if spending continued at an almost unmanageable rate.

If he didn't - why didn't he? He was the one whose job it was to balance the books, to ensure the UK Plc ran efficiently and made a profit year on year wasn't he?

Don't get me wrong, I don't blame Gordon Brown entirely for the credit crunch. Although he was instrumental in giving banks license to print money - ironic that isn't it? - he did not cause the sub-prime mortgage collapse in the US.

But he is the man, both as Chancellor and then as Prime Minister, god forbid, who was charged with running the country's finances. Surely he could see what was coming?

I bet Tony Blair is glad he's well out of it.

Written by Doug.

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Hillsborough - 20 Years on…

Hillsborough - 20 Years on…
20th   Apr

Twenty years on and questions still remain about the role played by the South Yorkshire police in the horrific tragedy which occurred at Sheffield Wednesday’s Hillsborough stadium on April 15th 1989, claiming the lives of 96 Liverpool football fans.

I remember the day it happened. I just cannot believe 20 years have passed. Seeing the pictures in newspapers and reading the eye witness accounts of the day that changed football brought it all back to me.

As a young football fan who had stood on the Leppings Lane terrace for an FA Cup quarter-final and the ground’s much bigger Kop End for the semi-final two years earlier to see my beloved Coventry City, I sat glued to our television screen as the gruesome event unfolded before my eyes.

Within what seemed like minutes the explanation being given for the disaster was that drunken Liverpool hooligans with no tickets had stormed the ground leading to a deadly crush in the two central pens of the crumbling concrete terrace.

The sheer scale of the tragedy brought tears to my eyes as I tried to understand what was happening. In the days that followed the official line was drummed into us that these ‘fans’ had smashed down a gate and rushed the tiny corridor which lead to the terrace.

Stories then emerged of fans robbing the dead, urinating on those trying to help the injured and even abusing police officers as they attempted to revive the men, women and children on the brink of death. Now that I know better, I feel ashamed for believing this to be the truth.

But as a young fan – I was 21 at the time - I had been to grounds where intimidation and stand-offs between police and fans was the norm. I had even stood on Anfield’s Kop End the season before and been abused and spat at because I had a ‘cockney’ accent.

So to me South Yorkshire police’s story had a ring of truth to it. And if it wasn’t for the families of the dead and their incredible fight for justice I might still believe the utter load of hogwash – to put it mildly – that the police dreamed up to protect their arses.

Every single allegation, assumption and aspersion cast by the South Yorkshire constabulary on that day has been proven false. There were no drunken hooligans – or certainly no more than a handful, if that. There was no storming of the stadium.

There was no fighting. No urinating and no stealing from corpses. What did in fact happen on that day was quite possibly the biggest police cover up of all time in this country. One so deeply driven by ignorance, a sense of self preservation and selfishness that all of those involved should hang their heads in shame even to this day.

The only positive – and I’m not even sure that is the right word – is that all those who died on the horrific day did not give up their lives in vain.

Their suffering and their sacrifices helped make football what it is today. Valuable lessons were learned by those in charge of upholding the reputation of the beautiful game.

But have the police learned lessons from the role they played in the tragedy. I fear not. Only a fortnight ago reports began seeping through that an innocent man trying to make his way home amid the highly-charged G20 London summit had died of a heart attack.

The City of London and Metropolitan police forces quickly issued a statement stating they had not seen or had any contact with the man in question. Just 24 hours later a video emerged of a police officer shoving Ian Tomlinson to the ground from behind, then striking him with a baton as colleagues stood by and watched.

A short time later Mr Tomlinson suffered a fatal cardiac and died. Again, the initial police version of events proved to be complete and utter lies.

Sounds familiar doesn’t it?

So why – 20 years after the Hillsborough police cover-up – are we still force-fed a carefully controlled diet of lies and half-truths and when will those who occupy the glass towers finally learn that honesty is always the best policy?

Written by Doug

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STOP THE BRAND WAGON…

STOP THE BRAND WAGON…
7th   Apr

I hate Russell Brand with a passion that has quite obviously lay dormant in my soul for every one of my 41 years.

brand

He makes my blood boil, no, in fact it’s worse than that. He makes my blood explode over the lip of the pan leaving an annoying mess seared onto the top of my hob, which has me reaching for the Jif, Cif or whatever the hell it is called now.

Brand is a disgrace to mankind and a disgrace to the profession of comedian. He should be dragged out of his house in that horrendous black and yellow dressing gown and striped leggings and left in the empty cellar of an MP’s second home to rot. He is a symptom of everything I hate about this country.

His rapid rise to fame and fortune has been achieved without ever him displaying an ounce of talent. I have tried so hard to join the mass army of Brand fans who fall about laughing at every profanity-littered sentence which spews from his mouth.

I have tried to understand why women in this office fawn over him and call him a ‘sex God’ when to be honest a picture I saw of him in a paper naked on a balcony brought back images of old Albert from Steptoe and Son with his shirt off. What sort of bloke wears his hair like Shirley Bassey in her prime, regularly dons make up, dresses like a court jester and is never seen without a three-feet long beaded necklace? Women say he looks cool.

I disagree. To me he looks like one of Adam Ant’s backing singers. So after months of struggling with the concept that this man is supposedly one of the funniest people in Britain whilst trying to appreciate his ‘work’ my ambivalence finally landed on the side of utter dislike when he played that God-awful trick on poor old Andrew Sachs.

That was the point when the festering hatred lurking deep within me, and usually reserved for people like Ashley Cole, exploded. Since then I have witnessed this shameless self-publicist join the anti-capitalist protesters in the city, (who bizarrely welcomed him with open arms) parade around his street in garish nightwear and then stick the knife into Jack Straw and his teenage son with a withering, whining posting on Twitter.

All this from a ‘comedian’. Am I the only one who doesn’t finds this comedian particularly funny. As far as I can recall comedians used to be funny people who made us laugh and smile.

Admittedly the phrase ‘tortured genius’ is often wheeled out but surely Brand is neither. So where will all this end? If this carries on can we please organize a mass demonstration, perhaps somewhere round Primrose Hill or wherever this oaf lives, to protest about the looming death of the great British sense of humour. Tommy Cooper would be turning in his grave.

Written by Doug

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